My life is super happy and rad
and I still write about sad things sometimes because it seems like part of the point of writing is to do that. ok.
Maybe there’s no way to create a coherent code of ethics in an institution...– Four Generals, Four Scandals, and a Sprawling Rape Case - NYmag.com / The Cut (via annfriedman) A friend of mine was raped while serving in Iraq. She reported it, there was a sham of an investigation, nothing happened to the guy, and she was ostracized within her unit (“At least I was able to hang...
Those who say they are leaving the country because...
rachelrantsandschtuff: Look! I found y’all a map. The grey countries are the ones without universal healthcare. Have fun!
The Chick Hearn Society: My 10 favorite Lakers of... →
READ THIS EVEN IF YOU’RE NOT A SPORTS PERSON IT IS ABOUT LOVE AND NO BULLYING thechickhearnsociety: Lamar Odom Lamar is very big for me for a couple of reasons. 1) Lamar married Armenian, smart. and b) Lamar was essentially the face of what the Lakers got in exchange for Shaq. Also, I believe Lamar to be the exact opposite of Kobe Bryant in every way. Lamar was open and self aware...
The sun owns spring and summer, but it gave up fall and winter to the moon. The moon is what gathers light from light, and hands it over as a comfort to the dark. There is more of moon, in the best of human nature, than of sun.
Brett Easton Ellis V. ...David Foster Wallace?
Subtitle, “And why it’s hilariously apt that he’s fighting with a dead man” Maybe you heard Bret Easton Ellis went on a twitter-rant against David Foster “literally deceased” Wallace. If not, good for you. Let’s go to the park and smell things and kiss. If so, well: I read a not altogether crappy article in Salon (link to follow) by a gentleman who has...
One thing about where I grew up
Next to my driveway, there was a cherry tree with magenta flowers. I picked them in bunches. Closer to the street towered a fern tree; that reminded me of dinosaur-times. There were two hulking pines near the front door of the house, and grass wouldn’t grow in their shade. I would sweep the hard dirt of needles and soil dust until it was bare and all but shone. That made it one of my outdoor...
Old Man Weldon: My Friend And Fellow Comedian Adam... →
oldmanweldon: …about the health care law. Of course, a very dumb discussion occurred between some comics on Twitter, because we’re comics and it’s twitter. But I didn’t engage, because even I need to take the occasional hyperbolic flame war off, and also because I give a shit about social and economic justice….
American Aquarium Drinker: Alright. →
well done daveholmes: I’m reading the NYTimes’ coverage of the Aurora shootings, and this quote jumped out at me: Luke O’Dell of the Rocky Mountain Gun Owners, a Colorado group on the other side of the debate over gun control, took a nearly opposite view. “Potentially, if there had been a law-abiding citizen who…
Love letter 2 Virginia Woolf
I can understand why Virginia Woolf would have chosen a river to sink into. I think of Lily sitting at a dinner table surrounded by competing voices. considering to herself the placement of a tree, in a painting no one but herself cared to create. Deciding to move the tree “rather more to the middle,” though they all were talking, and had wants of each other, and of her, and none of...
I made a music video with my cat you should pay attention to what we’re doing
My dad’s making eggs. Me: If you cracked open one of those eggs and a baby chick fell out dead, would you start to cry? My dad: Only after I stopped screaming.
Someone should take a cross section of things I say to my mom and things I say to my cat, and compare to see who I’m nicer to. I think you’ll find I’m fairly forgiving of having my bed peed on, provided you “please quit fucking looking at me like that”
K, lets talk.
Wuss Me (head in my hands) : I can’t be cool ALL the time. Hardass Me: Can’t or WON’T?? (banks a crushed beer can off Wuss Me’s forehead and into the wastebasket) Wuss Me (head in hands): That was recyclable.
I am going to start a secret club with my 6 tumblr followers that not even they will know about. I will be in charge of snacks and keeping the minutes and continuing to write my blog. The 6 followers will be in charge of keeping the club secret, which will be easy for the aforementioned reason.
Table Of Contents
1. Some writing about my marriage 2. In which I relate to YOU 3. A Fractal Theory of Jenna Elfman 4. Snarks Directed at a Woman who Loves Me Unconditionally (I got no class.) 5. Fun with E.L. Doctorow quotes! 6. The superior of two poems 7.—A Thought About Castration— 8. Some prurient, trembling sentiment 9. My first engagement, part I 10. The inferior of two poems 11....
One account of a thing
2010 Maybe three months before my divorce, I started wearing real deodorant. The kind with chemical antiperspirant and a refrigerator-fresh, fruity fragrance. Sterile and appetizing as factory cupcakes. It was a concession. The last and biggest. 2004 Deodorant is out of the question. For both of us. We live in his vision, and deodorant is censorship. We have too much to offer in the smell...
You Know What You're Like, Goddamnit
Like you, I sometimes text message myself when I’m sad. Like you, I consider myself to be unusually good at the electric slide. Like you, I don’t know where all this hair came from. Like you, I feel judged when very small children look witheringly in my direction. Like you, I’m not looking for any trouble. Like you, I find it hard to remember the very poor. Like you, I’m...
Fractal theory of Elfman #notthatElfman
It turns out that climbing up behind the movie screen in an empty Arclight theater in a fit of Dharma-from-Dharma-and-Greg-ish whimsy results in alot of weird itchy scratches more reminiscent of Jenna Elfman’s body after breaking into a paparazzi’s car trying to get them to notice her. that is all.
Things I do to keep busy while visiting my...
1. Give Myself a Haircut. Or, you know, a few of them. The take-home: Pssh. Time hasn’t Stopped! At all. If time has stopped, then where did I get these new bangs? (Or, 2 hours later, these? and so forth.) 2. Learn a Trade! This time it was canning. Yesterday I made red onion marmalade…for 6 hours. Today I’m making apple butter. The trick is to keep the botulism out! The...
E.L. Doctorow: Writing is like driving at night in the fog. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way. Me: Huh. That sounds right. Now, what if you’re also facebooking, while driving, at night, in the fog? How would you describe what happens to that trip? #awcrud
Bus stop drive-by
Young man, I like you for rising when you see the bus coming, watching it expectantly, with familiarity, like it is your girlfriend. and you know exactly how she carries her purse, and you’ve been holding up your end of things, and now you’ll go home, together
Today, when I kissed the book, the book kissed...
thanks to Aimee Bender for writing the book.
my first engagement, part 1
This is the story of the first time I was engaged to be married. When I say “first,” I am not counting my tenuous engagement to Leslie Hammer from my class at Steven’s Crossing preschool, or the time when I was nineteen when I, stoned and having just finished a Tom Robbins novel about women’s lib, considered getting a tattoo symbolizing my marriage to myself. I am only...
Laid out below me, I can see this model town And I don’t remember building it I remember flailing, and sidling from doorway to doorway and retching a bit and maybe I threw up on a bush but now here’s this town and the little trees and buildings are perfect I build fine towns like a sad clown
This Joaquin Phoenix 'hoax' business,
which noone much noticed. Recap: he went on TV in Feb. 2009, acting like he’d become a crazy drug-addled rapper. Then he waited a year or so for that media moment to pass, then he released a poorly publicized mockumentary in character. Now he’s revealed that it was a hoax. And here’s my contention: I’m not sure he gets to decide if it’s a hoax anymore. That’d...
A short story, one revision deep.
Two Sides to Simon Laura: Simon lives in the wall. With all his stuff. He’s in all the walls of this house, actually. Simon passes from one wall to the next. He is small and shadowy. He has to stay thin! He has a briefcase that he carries, sidling along those dark borders, living in the frame of this family’s life. I know this. I felt something like this before Lindsay ever told me...
in which I freewrite about some music
This is one-third about the Joanna Newsom album Ys, and two-thirds about the month I spent on an archaeology work-study in Belize. Still, if you wanna hear a bit of what I was hearing when I wrote this, open the following in a separate tab for listening-while-reading: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhH_zaolYUg. And when I talk about “learning” the album, I mean that. It’s...